5 Basic Tips for Men about Dating

I've been slacking on this blog so I'm back!

I know many of you men out there feel like your girlfriend/wife is always mad at you or that, in her eyes, you are always wrong. You aren't necessarily wrong; you're just not doing the right things. Well fear no more boyfriends/husbands; I am here to break down the very basics of keeping your boo happy without handing over your man card on a silver platter.

Listen carefully men. Being one of the only single girls out of my girlfriends, every time YOU PEOPLE mess up; I hear about it first hand. These are some very simple things that you can do to get your woman off your case...and my shoulder.

1) Ask her out on a real DATE. In the same breath, do NOT text her...call her. I get it's 2013 and that's how you kids today communicate but don't be that guy. The first 3 dates should be real, romantic, planned dates. I'm not saying you have to go out and spend your life savings; be creative.  **Please note: taking her to Taco Cabana at 2am after the bar does not constitute as a date. Nor does having her come to YOUR house; unless you are cooking her dinner. Ya'll need to understand that women want to be wined and dined and just a relatively nice dinner date could do wonders.

2) BE DECISIVE. This is the number one complaint I get from my girlfriends. If you guys have plans to do something and she asks "what are we gunna do babe" and you respond with "I don't care, what do you wanna do?"; expect an eye roll and a possible silent treatment. You are the man, you take control. Women will tell you if your plan is stupid but if you've been in a relationship for a while, you should know. Women get more upset and annoyed by you not making a decision than a dumb suggestion.

3) Don't look at other women in excess. We know you're going to look at the tall blonde with platforms walking to the bathroom; just don't over do it. Women are fine with it 90% of the time but if we can barely hold a conversation with you because your eyes keep darting to every girl in the place, you'll either get broken up with or slapped...or both. Also, if you make some idiot comment like "geeze her skirt is ugly" thinking to yourself "good save bro"; it wasn't a good save, women aren't idiots. Don't abuse this privilege.

4) Listen, but don't give your opinion or a solution. This one is tricky so listen up.  Women know you're not one of our girlfriends however we also expect our men to be comforting and on our side. If she has had a bad day at work because her boss is a jerk don't say "well if you don't like it just quit". No. No no no no no. First of all, that's stupid, second of all the right response is "that's terrible babe I'm sorry, what can I do to make it better". Ladies just want you to give them a hug, tell them it'll be ok and feed us chocolate. If you give your opinion on a solution and/or not pay attention to a word she's saying, that's a one way ticket into the dog house kids. If she starts talking about her tiff with her girlfriends and speaking girl language you don't understand, that's the time to let her know you're not equipped to handle this situation. That's what other girlfriends are for.

5) DO NOT excessively communicate with an ex. Do not facebook, twitter, snapchat, text, call, send smoke signals to an ex in excess. Women don't care how you broke up, why you broke up, that ya'll remain friends...in our head you still love her if you still talk to her. Trust me when I say women will probably act like it doesn't bother them and it's no big deal; but she's slowly losing her mind. Which in turn means you will get yelled at one day out of the blue. My advice would be cutoff all communication, but if you can't for whatever reason; keep it to a minimum. But don't EVER try to hide the communication. You may think you're protecting her because its innocent; in woman brain you're cheating. Plus we're smarter than you think, we WILL find out...don't get it twisted.

I hope this helps some guys out there understand the girl brain just a bit better. It's really not that hard, and if you still need help ask me! Cheers!

5 Rules to Common Decency...

At 28 years old, I am well aware that people sometimes genuinely suck. However, I always try to see the good in everyone; trust me that's not always easy. We as human beings need to really calm it down with the trash talking; especially if you don't even KNOW the person. How do their life decisions effect you in any way? Ok cool, you "tweet" to a celebrity telling them they are horrible people and you don't like them one bit. What did that do? That make you feel better? Three things; 1) chances are that person didn't even see that love note, 2) If they did they don't care 3) If they did see it and care, you just hurt someones feelings that you know nothing about. Mission accomplished?

My whole issue is, if you really loathe that person as much as you say; why are you taking precious time out of your busy life to tell them you don't like them? Being nice, respectful and cordial is non-existent in today's world and that is very sad. Remember the golden rule? Treat others the way you want to be treated; I know you've heard that on Reading Rainbow a handful of times. LeVar Burton where you at?!

 I have come up with some rules for being a decent human being since this world is so dense you people need a playbook to know how to act right. And fyi that's not trash talking that is just fact. So before you start being a bully or mean girl, think about these simple rules.

1) The most important rule of them all; do unto others as others do unto you. Now this doesn't mean Sarah called you fat and you go and sleep with her boyfriend. That's vindication. And unsanitary. This is simply, don't say or do anything to another human you wouldn't like someone to do to you.

2) Even if you don't like a celebrity or athlete or even just another regular person please remember that is YOUR opinion. Everyone is entitled to it but when you take to social media to express those hateful opinions that's all you're spreading; hate. Concentrate your time on how much you love Call of Duty or Rubin Studdard.

3) This goes out to all the grown women out there that are still caddy and bully others; you are in your 20's, 30's and sometimes 40's GET IT TOGETHER. If you put another woman on blast for something you don't agree with, chances are you are jealous or pure evil. Or both. STOP. You not only look childish, but if you don't already have children you will and I am pretty sure no one wants to teach their children to be scumbags. Lead by example.

4) If you think speaking to another human using hateful language makes you "cool" it absolutely does not. Recently a friend told me what a former guy friend of hers told her.. I was absolutely appalled. I have never heard such hateful language come out of someones mouth. Let alone a guy to a woman but another human being. He took all of her insecurities and rolled them all up to one big fat ball of hate. Now, I get people get angry, happens to the best of us, but how about we act like ADULTS and keep that serrated knife out of someones back.

5) This is more preventative but if you hear someone talking trash or experience it yourself, don't just let it go. I am not saying go light their house on fire; confront them in a respectful mature way. Rise above that nonsense but sometimes silence is acceptance. We can't let people word vomit all over the place anymore, we have to stand up for ourselves but it can be done in a respectful way.

Some of you may think this is hypocritical because I have mentioned some celebs' bad decisions in blogs before; but I will never use offensive language or directly come at them like a spider monkey. I just hope people understand that sometimes instead of expressing hate, it's best to try and express more love. Clean it up people.

Where are your Parents?!

As many of you know I am in charge of social media for my website and also just love telling everyone in the world, even strangers about my personal life. It's a great anecdote to my sense of loserdom. Well as I am stalking, I mean browsing, the Twitter I come across this page called The Chive. I haven't been to the website and I have no idea what the purpose is; all I know is I have never seen so much lost dignity in one place.

Girls that look the ripe age of 16 are posting pictures to a social networking site that is being spread (no pun intended) all across the world. Where are your parents?! Since when did this become acceptable behavior? This leads me to my next ADD thought about why men don't respect women anymore. Why in the WORLD would they respect women if there are nudity pics available when you just want to check in and see what's up with your friends via social media? They won't, so a couple things; 1) All you parents out there need to get some kind of monotoring device on your child's computer or Dateline NBC may be showing up at your doorstep. 2) If you, as a woman, are going to go THAT far and post next to amature porn on websites; YOU HAVE LOST THE RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT MEN. Period. You're done, you do it to yourself so understand this, among many others, is a consequence to your lack of self-respect behavior.

If you want to send "pics" do it in the privacy of your own home. That's your business, but again if you are under the age of 18, STOP IT...you know that is illegal? Actually you probably don't because if you are taking pics of yourself halfway naked; your parents probably didn't mention that's distribution of child pornography. Girls find a hobby. If you aspire to be a model; great there are ways to do that with your clothes on not bending over your sink. If you think it'll make you feel "sexy" because you get compliments, you need to re-evaluate yourself. I feel uncomfortable even putting a picture of me on a family vacation in a bathing suit on social sites. I don't know how girls let pics get out/voluntarily PUT them out there!  Look how well that worked out for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian? PHil is probably serving waffle fries at Chick-Fil-A and Kim's two marriages down and knocked up by raging jackass. That sound good to you? Didn't think so.

 Parents need to QUIT not wanting to cause "conflict" or trying to be their childs "friend". I don't have kids but when I do they are going to school and church and that's about it. I may or may not install a tracking chip in them like dogs. You are their parent first and foremost and OBVIOUSLY they have enough friends so man up and act like an adult. I get society is changing but children having children is the root of the problem. You could be 50 years old and still act like a child. Do you want to be responsible for creating the next Eileen Wornos? Get it together parents.

So in conclusion, people need to calm it down and keep your PRIVATES private. I am not saying being a saint, do your thing just keep it off of the internet. And there is a new thing called snapchat that is perfect for girls that want to be slutty. IF you are over the age of 18. 18 and under...read a book.