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Monday, March 4, 2013

Respect Thy Neighbor...LENNY


    Everyone has had a neighbor that, in lack of better words, is a complete moron.  Well we live below, who we have aptly named, Shaq.  If I didn't know any better I would think a 700 pound sumo wrestler with a taste for Dubstep was inhabiting this apt above us. The constant stomping and Skrillex remixes makes me want to put "Call me Maybe" on repeat, at the highest volume and leave it for 24 hours straight. If that's not payback, I don't know what is. Although I do enjoy the dying cat tunes while I am working out; I do NOT want to hear it while I am trying to watch Duck Dynasty. You can barely understand those dudes anyway, I don't need the sounds of animal torture as a soundtrack.

Well I had the pleasure of meeting this upstairs lad a couple months ago...Lenny. Lenny, I am assuming, does not have a regular 8-5 job judging by the tunage at all hours of the night; and constant smell of a certain "herb". During our delightful encounter, Lenny asks me if we were the ones that called the cops on him last week. I lived in NYC at the time so I said no. I later remembered talking to my sister about what seemed to be a rave going on at good ol' Lenny's around the same time. Looking up at the ceiling of our living room and noticing the black marks of where my sister started throwing her shoes; confirmed the po-po incident was probably our doing. Sorry Lenny. However he did try to ease our annoyance by explaining that it was a 2 year olds birthday party so that was the reason for the noise. Really bro? That's all you could come up with? I had Power Rangers at my birthday party when I was 2 not Skrillex Mary Jane. Anyway he apologized, asked if I wanted to "blaze" (I politely declined) and went on his way. Well it seems as though Len did not learn his lesson because as I am writing this my Ipad is shaking due to the drum and bass coming through the walls.
So what will come of this unneighborly like behavior? Let's just say I just met you and this is crazy, payback's a bitch, so shut up maybe?

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