Sunday, December 29, 2013
1) Stop obsessing about, and/or posting pictures of yourself, working out. It is great to be healthy but balance your workout regimen and still treat yourself.
2) Do something nice randomly for someone every day...for 365 days. Even if it is as simple as holding a door open for someone.
3) Have a more open mind. We all have our beliefs and views on certain things; but try to learn why others have the beliefs and views they do. Be accepting of those as well.
4) Don't overcommit. At times, we all think we are superman and think we can take on anything that comes our way. If you honestly don't know if you can follow through, don't commit.
5) Say yes to something or someone you normally wouldn't. Take a chance on a guy/girl that may not be your type. Go to the movie you really don't care to see. Think outside the box
6) Don't keep settling for the job you can't stand. Don't ever quit a job without having another; however actively look for something you really want to do if you think you are at a dead in in your career.
7) Don't be scared of looking "crazy" or "creepy". If you like someone or you feel like you have been mistreated, tell them how you feel. Even if they are unresponsive; at least you said it.
8) Think before acting. If you are mad at someone or something, take a minute, write it out in an email but don't send it. limit your knee jerk reactions.
9) Stop concentrating so much on your social media. Remember back in the day when your self worth was determined by YOURSELF and not how many "friends" or "followers" you have?
10) Along the same lines, if out with friends PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. I have a
"ratio" rule when out. If the percentage of people on their phones is greater than the ones that aren't; put the phones down.
11) Go out on a random weekday. It may be a work night, and you don't have to go balls to the wall; but work is stressful, why not grab a beverage with a friend after work on a Tuesday?
12) Limit complaining. If you don't like something going on in your life, fix it. Constantly complaining about it does nothing. Only you can control your happiness.
13) Be more empathetic. Put yourself in other's shoes this year, how would you feel in their situation? Try to relate and understand.
14) Stop overanalyzing. Sometimes situations are what they are. Take certain things at face value. If you are confused about something, ask.
15) If you have something on your mind...say it! Keeping things in will not only drive you crazy, it won't fix anything.
16) If you have a hobby or a passion, make time to really concentrate on it. Not only will it take your mind of your mundane job etc; you may also learn this could possibly be your lot in life.
17) Be considerate of other people. Help more, offer guidance, BE ON TIME. Value others just as much as you want them to value you.
18) Get involved in a charity you are passionate about.
19) Stop using the excuse, "Well that is just who he/she is" if someone is always a complete ass. "That is who they are" is NOT an excuse for being a crap person. Don't try to change them but don't be scared to call them out and tell someone the way they act is not ok.
20) Mend relationships that may be tattered. Whether it be a family member or an ex; try and fix whatever has caused a riff in the relationship.
21) Throw your grudges out the window. If you can't mend your relationships, just stop caring and let bygones be bygones.
22) Do not have expectations. to EXPECT something out of someone or something will 99.9% of the time let you down. Have hope, but ever expect.
23) Stop worrying about how you look to other people. Worry about how you look to YOU. Confidence is sexy, the ones who mind don't matter and the ones that matter don't mind.
24) Manage your money. Easier said than done I know.
25) Follow your dream. 2014 should be the year of the dream. If there has been something you have always wanted for yourself GO AND GET IT. Don't give up, fight to the death and believe in yourself.
Hope everyone has a fantastic 2014!!!!!
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Girl code v guy code
There are many unwritten "codes" in the rule book of chicks and bros; however I am going to go ahead a write them down for all those who have been offenders of said codes and/or just need to know what could potentially be grounds for termination of friendship.
We will start with Girl Code...
1) Do NOT I repeat DO NOT EVER date/hook up with/be anything more than friends with your girls ex without asking permission. I would normally advise don't even go there at all; but if you think you truly have a connection with an ex of a friend, ask her first.
2) Do not repeat secrets one girlfriend tells you to another girlfriend. Even if you think you can trust that other chick; just don't do it.YOU were told something in confidence, it is not your place to tell anyone else. This is called gossip ladies.
3) Tell your friend when her "look" is not working. This may be hard at times but you are doing her a favor. Have you ever gone out and looked at a girl and wondered how her friends let her go out looking like that? Yeah, don't be that friend. Tough love.
4) Along the same lines as above, tell your girlfriends when they are ACTING a fool. Whether it be in her relationship, in the workplace etc; you, as a friend, are responsible for telling her she's being a hot mess. Again, you are doing a favor to her.
5) When she comes to you for relationship advice, don't automatically side with her. and say screw him. Hear her out; she may not being seeing signs that a third party sees SHE is doing.
6) Be honest with her and don't judge. Like the great Salt N Peppa said brilliantly, "There's only one judge and that's God. So chill and let my father do his job.".
7) KNOW HER TYPE before trying to be a matchmaker. No one likes awkward dates; especilly if she displays the, "Oh hell no you didn't" all over her face.
8) Don't go after a guy you are well aware has a girlfriend or wife. Would you would some hooker going after your man KNOWING he's attached? Didn't think so..
9) Do not even come close to remotely flirting with the guy she is currently involved with. You shouldn't even have his number in your phone. FRIEND ZONE IMMEDIATELY.
10) Be there for her always, no matter what; but don't let her rely on you for EVERYTHING.
Now on to Bro Code
1) See number one of girl code. Add in, don't ever have any communication with a former fling of your bro behind his back. Period.
2) Do not lend money to your guy friends. They are men, and if you are over the age of 24, they can figure it out. This will only cause turmoil in your bromance.
3) If your friend is hitting it off with a chick and you are stuck with her not-so-cute friend, suck it up and take one for the team. This doesn't mean you have to take her home etc. Just be a wingman; you never know when you'll need one.
4) Do NOT communicate in any form in excess to a chick your homeboy is currently dating. You want to sleep wth her and guys cannot have girl "frends" without passing that threshold and this is bad news.
5) If you know your dude is cheating on his girl, shut up. I know so many women would disagree with this but it is none of your business. The only time you have a right to say something to the girl is if you introduced them or you were friends with her before him.
6) Don't call your bro out about the other women he may be dating in front of the girl he is with at the moment. You make think it's funny; but you just threw that cat right under the bus.
7) If your dude friend is dating a girl you cannot stand; you absolutely have the right to tell him the reasons why....one time. Don't keep bringing up how much you hate his girlfriend. He likes her for some reason; so if you have voiced your opinion before, lock it up.
8) Have his back always. Don't be that guy that stands back and watches his friend get ripped apart. This goes for any situation.
9) If your friend is diggin on a chick he saw first but she is clearly into you more; doesn't matter, leave her alone. Even if you kinda dig her too, find someone else. Too complicated.
10) Respect his privacy. If he doesn't want to tell you something going on in his life, don't push it. Guys are different than women in that when they are ready to tell you, they will. With women, we will get it out of our friends no matter what.
These are only SOME of the codes you mijos and mijas need to be following. Don't break the codes; you never know which coattail you will be able to ride so stay in good graces...
Monday, December 16, 2013
1) Elevator awkwardness. So we are going 29 floors…together; and it’s you and me...alone. Do I start up a conversation? Or awkwardly stand there pretending I'm on my phone? Even though we all know phones don’t work in elevators.
2) Traffic. Especially when you pass the point where it clears and there is absolutely NO REASON for the back up. You end up screaming expletives you didn’t even know you knew.
3) Agreeing with something you know you have to but completely disagree. Whether it be "happy wife happy life", or the entire board at work says yay and you think to yourself “this is stupid” (Vmeeks); but you can’t be “that guy/girl”. So you fake a smile then pull a Clark Griswold when they all walk out. “Kiss my ass, kiss his ass, happy Hanukah”.
4) Wet socks. There is absolutely nothing worse than the feeling of wet socks.
5) Excuses. The majority of people would respect others more by just admitting the truth. Also, 90% of the time everyone knows it’s an excuse. If you DO feel the need to make an excuse, make sure it’s at least plausible. “My grandma died” isn’t only a terrible excuse it kind of makes you look like a terrible person.
6) Jay cutler. Sorry this one is just for me.
7) The in between temperature when you don’t know whether or not to take your jacket off. “I am kind of hot right now, but if I take this off I am pretty sure I will be really cold.” SOMEONE JUST MAKE THIS FRIGGIN’ PLACE A COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE!!
8) People that will drive in a lane that is merging or the shoulder and cut you off instead of being a nice human being and waiting like everyone else.The feeling of knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do to tell that person to GFT; is possibly the most helpless you will ever feel.
9) When you get 6 text messages from the same person in a row when they could have easily put all of what they were saying in one. If my phone dings and it’s you one more time…. (runs finger across neck with mean mug)
10) Unnecessary yelling. When girls walk in to see other girls and shrieking ensues=please put a knife in my eye.
11) People that take WAY too many pictures. I may actually want to have a conversation with you but instead you are more interested in taking a picture of our non-existent conversation and posting it on social media with the caption “Love hanging out with my friends!”. No, no you don’t you love taking pretend photos and posting them on the internet.
12) When fast food places get your order wrong. Most people don’t check before they leave so you open the bag when you get home, excited to eat your cheeseburger anddddd it’s a grilled chicken sandwich. There are very few feelings in the world as bad as that very feeling. You are not going to go all the way back and if you do you look stupid; so you yell and mope then eat the chicken.
13) When people speak on subjects they know nothing about. You don’t even know the name of the Vice President of the United States; stop acting like you know Paul Ryan’s financial plan. No, he’s not the quarterback for Atlanta, that’s Matt.
14) When other people join a conversation that you are having with someone else and give their unsolicited opinion. This`is an A and B convo bro, so BYE FELICIA.
15) When your phone says 10% then shuts off….um you said 10% which means I have enough time to at least send a few texts and get to a charger and now you totally killed my vibe.
16) When people in the express/self checkout line have more than 20 items… It is CLEARLY stated on the sign 20 items or less; and in case you’re wondering, express means FAST. If you are feeding a family of 10 for the month, get in the regular line.
17) When you just can’t remember something you know you know and you will not rest until you figure it out.
18) When a bar is out of your favorite beverage. You are a bar…this is what you do…get it together.
19) Those adult proof packages electronics come in. I can’t cut you, I can’t tear you, how the hell am I supposed to open you?!?! Chainsaw.
20) People that bring food that smells like crap to eat, at work, on an airplane, in a car etc. I love my ranch Cornuts but I am a respectful so I refrain when around others in a confined area. So please eat your curry garlic shrimp dinner before.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
1) Not washed our hair in 4 days and just keep using dry shampoo until we could basically grease a pan with our hair.
2) Sat and learned the lyrics to a really hard rap song by listening to it over and over and over again so we can impress people with our rad rapping skills.
3) Brushed teeth, hair, done our make-up, changed complete outfits, and maybe even put in a tampon all while driving.
4) Sat in front of the mirror for hours on end trying to get our eyebrows just right…then realize we no longer have eyebrows.
5) Sat in front of the mirror and just stared. Dreading the getting ready process and mentally preparing ourselves.
6) Have at least one special pair of “sex underwear” and this also goes for “that time of the month” underwear.
7) Painted over our already painted nails because we are too lazy to take it off and re-do it. At about the 5th coat it’s easier to peel off than to use polish remover.
8) Got motivation to go to the gym because of the hot guy that goes at 5:15pm every day…sharp.
9) Learned the choreographed dance to a popular song…and not just in high school for dance/cheer. Just out of boredom; and to show off our sweet moves.
10) If no one is going to see/touch our body…we leave the razor be until it gets too much.
11) Known the difficulty and strategery in going to the restroom outside and trying not to get it on our shoes.
12) Woken up before our man does to put a little make-up on to make it look like we just wake up looking that good…
13) Driven by our crushes/boyfriends house, place of work etc to see if his car is there. Then not really do anything with the information; but we get giddy just by seeing his car.
14) Instead of eye make-up remover, our fingers work just as well to take off mascara.
15) Have a unique mirror face when we are putting finishing touches on hair/make-up about to walk about the door.
16) Went out on a work night wearing work clothes, had a sleepover, and wore the same thing the next day; praying no one will notice.
17) Logged in to our friends Facebook account to stalk an ex we blocked.
18) Made a friend take down a picture they posted of us because we look like death.
19) Been late to something because we weren’t sure if we “had to go”…if you know what I mean.
20) Belted out a girl power song in your car that reminds us of our cheating ex; and lose your voice because of it. Example: Carrie Underwood’s “Undo it”.
21) Have tried any and everything to plump our lips.
22) Gave a guy a fake name but right phone number while out then get really confused when he texts us saying “It was nice to meet you Sasha” ….??
23) Not remembered a guys name and when you see him out again you introduce your friend so he can say it again…then get even more frustrated when he says “Nice to meet you” UGH SAY YOUR NAME!!!
24) No toilet paper…improvise
25) Not gone out because of a monster blemish…even though no one really notices…but you do.
26) Bought lingerie you have never ever worn…and probably won’t ever wear.
27) Wondered why that red lipstick looks amazing on your girlfriend but makes you look like a contestant on Toddlers and Tiaras.
28) Worn shoes we want to throw across the room and burn at the end of the night…but they looked really hot....and we will endure the brutality again and again
29) After a few drinks looked through our phones thinking “hmm what dude can I text right now”
30) If anyone comes to our house/apt and it’s messy; everything goes in the closet or under the bed.
31) Thought your friends boyfriend was hot.
32) "Accidentally" texted your plans for the night to a dude then pretended it was meant for your girlfriend.
33) Running out of your make-up one product at a time makes you want to die.
34) Have done the "friend-off"..."Oh hey Sarah, this is Joe!" .....later Sarah and Joe....
35) Had an emotional breakdown out of no where...hopefully not in public
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
After talking with several dudes, and observing some of these myself, these are a few things us as women need to think about before doing.
1) Wearing too much make-up. A couple reasons why this annoys men. First of all they really do like what you ACTUALLY look like so no need to cake it all over your face, you look like a tranny. Also, your face gets all over their nice white work shirts if you give him a hug. This goes for too much tanning too...take it down a notch snookie.
2) Repeat things over and over. This goes for stories you tell him AND things you tell him to do. Now, if your man is like my dad who legitimately forgets things; disregard this. He will most likely do what you tell him in a timely manner IF you give him a time frame. If you don't tell him when you need it done, he will do it on his time, and that's your fault.
3) Interrupt them during a game on TV. If you are a sports fan too, you totally understand this rule. Those who don't, if your man is watching game at home, do NOT ask him what he thinks about your new shoes during third and goal; he will want to stab you in the eye with that heel. If he's out watching with guys, do not call or text him. Wait until half time if it's something very important. If it's not, leave him be.
4) Vagueness. This makes men want to jump off a bridge. BE CLEAR in what you are trying to communicate with him. Just as we get annoyed with their short answers, they get annoyed with us not telling them exactly what we are trying to say. JUST SAY IT.
5) Not being open to hang out with HIS friends. The fact he wants to bring you around his friends anyway is a good sign. Don't always make him hang out with yours. Even if you think your friends are cooler than his, try getting both groups together.
6) Being lazy. Guys HATE when they come home and see their girl in the same place they left her. Get up, find a hobby or do the dishes...(just kidding ladies)
7) Lengthy texts, emails, notes. Guys have a short attention span and when you are texting him 37 times in a row to explain a story or "get something off your chest". He will not read them. Keep it short and to the point.
8) Lack of confidence. This is a HUGE turn off for men. Don't fish for compliments, don't throw a tantrum when you are getting ready and you feel gross in everything; be confident. Even if you are miserable with your life, fake it. You might start to actually believe it.
9) Not taking care of yourself. We're all familiar with the term "letting yourself go"; even if you have been in a long term relationship, act like every day is the first time you met him. They don't expect you to look like a supermodel; just don't stop doing what you did to hook him in the first place.
10) Gossiping to them. They reallllly don't care who Jane hooked up with last night, unless it was you. Leave that for girl time.
11) Giggling uncontrollably at everything they say. They want to know you think they're funny, but when it looks like you are going to spontaneously combust because of your annoying laughter; that is over the top...and weird.
12) Saying "fine" when you're not.
13) Acting like a diva. We all have moments that we are somewhere and we would rather play in traffic than be there. Don't be a B, or act like you are "too good" for whatever it is you are doing. Even if you hate it, make the best of it and do it for him. There may come a time you want him to go with you to a Selena Gomez concert......if he hasn't already gone **Matt Marmaro
14) Not trusting him when he has done nothing to lose your trust. Innocent until proven guilty. Don't go through his phone, email, ask who he was talking to every time he gets off the phone. Now if you suspect something, refer to future blog "How to catch a cheater."
15) Being needy. He is not your keeper or babysitter. It is not his job to do EVERYTHING for you, so don't expect him to. You're more than capable of going to the store alone.
16) Judging other women. This comes off as insecure and a sign of cray cray.
17) Comparing them to your ex. Your ex is an EX for a reason. Also, talking about your ex too much. Just as much as we hate it, they hate it too.
18) Being consistently late. If you run late more than 3 times for something, he is going to start to get mad. Value his time just as much as you expect him to value yours. Guys if you know this, tell her whatever it is starts an hour before it actually does.
19) Talking about marriage. They aren't your Pinterest board. This gets incredibly annoying to them ESPECIALLY if you are near the time he may put a ring on it; never ever ask for the ring. Worse, talking about marriage when you only have been dating 2 months.
20) Bad hygiene. Self explanatory.
Monday, December 2, 2013
1) "Hey/yo" by itself. Ummm hi? What exactly is it that you want?
2) "Sup" first of all you can't take time to write out WHAT'S UP? This isn't "fly" it's stupid and you sound uneducated.
3) "Where you at?" You ended a sentence in a a preposition first off; secondly what are you going to do come to where I am sans invite? Where you AT?
4) "Come over" uh don't tell me what to do bro. How about you ask politely? I'll come over if I want to come over. You're not the boss of me.
5) "Cool" I just told you my plans for the day and you're saying cool? Guess this conversation is over.
6) "What are you wearing" unless he is gay and truly wants to know what you are wearing, this is so annoying and chances are we are in our PJs.
7) "Send me a pic". Of what? My hand? Don't worry we know what you mean and some women may actually do this; but most will think you're a perv and you may get your pic but be careful because it might not be what you had in mind sweetheart ;).
8) Starting off a text convo with an emoticon. USE YOUR WORDS. This is a very awkward text to respond to from a woman's perspective.
9) "Let's meet up later" ok, likeeeeee how later? Is this a date or a chill with a group thing? Or a "I want to hang out after I get done partying with my boys" thing? We need to know if we are making actual plans or if this is a maybe situation.
10) "ha or haha" Unless we said something legit really funny, this is an unacceptable response.
11) "You awake?". No
12) "Yeah". I'm glad you are so enthused about this convo...
13) If you initiate a conversation and then take hours to respond to OUR response to your text. What was the purpose of you texting me in the first place?
14) When men ask "what are you up to" and we respond with "not much and you" and they reply with something like, "going to the gym" with NOTHING else to follow. Again, what was the purpose of this text? Are you really that concerned with what I am doing at this very moment?
15) "K".............................................I can't