1) “Not to mention”: umm you are in FACT mentioning it sooo….
2) “Let me be clear”: pretty sure if I needed clarification on context I would ask you; but go ahead and state your point you pompous asshole.
3) “If I were you”: k well you’re not and you probably wouldn't even take your own advice so shut up.
4) “With all due respect”: usually followed by one big fat backhanded compliment (thanks Ricky Bobby).
5) “Just kidding, but not really”: …………what? Are you kidding or not? I’m confused.
6) “I’m probably speaking out of turn but…”: you are. Sit.down.
7) “A little extra”: Do you want extra or a little bit? EXACTLY HOW MUCH MORE OF THE
NORMAL AMOUNT DO YOU WANT?!
8) “It was bad, but not that bad”: Define “that” bad. Like O.J bad? Or like getting a parking ticket bad?
9) “Do you care if I…” If you have to ask we probably do, so you’re putting us between a rock and a hard place; we can’t say no because we will look like jerks but we really don’t want to say yes.
10) “Can you do me a favor?”: Ok, if it’s grabbing something closer to me then you; fine, Taking you to the airport…ehhhhh, pretending to be you because you gave my number to a stalker; NAH....and there will be payback.
11) “Work smart not hard”: Working hard is working smart you idiot.
12) “Don’t take this the wrong way but”: There obviously is a chance you will offend me; just don’t even go there....unless you are ready for a verbal spar or a pimp slap...
13) “You would be so cute if…”:……ok what? No. just no.
14) “Do you understand?”: Yes. Yes I do. Thank you for asking……………
15) “Can I ask you a question?”: NO; and why are you asking? Just ask it?
16) "Hypothetically if...": This is about you. Don't front
17) "Do you hear what I am saying": Yup. Sure do; but am I listening? Probably not.
18) "Just saying": I know this is popular now but we get it you literally just said it.
19) "I like to be different": Says hipster sporting every clothing item that the stereotypical hispster wears. hashtag totes diff!!!!!
20) “No offense”: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T!