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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

11 Facts About Valentine's Day that will Make you Rethink those Flowers and Chocolates you have on Pre-Order

Some facts you may not know about Valentine's Day that makes you actually happy about NOT participating...

1)   Valentine’s Day actually goes back to an ancient Roman fertility festival called “Lupercalia”. This festival started with an animal sacrifice then the beating and slapping of women with the animal parts for “fertility”. Nothing says “I love you" more than getting slapped with animal carcass.

2)   In mid February the Christian church wanted to “Christianize” the festival and did so on February 14. That is when Pope Gelacious declared February 14th St. Valentines Day.

3)   There were many St. Valentines back then and therefore no single one can be tied to and named THE Saint Valentine.

4)   There was, however a St. Valentine under the ruling of Claudious II. Claudious II's battle tactics were brutal; making his soldiers abandon their families for a long period of time….way to go Claud. He eventually banned marriages because he believed single men made better soldiers (haha ok).

5)   Well Father Valentine wasn't having it and continues to wed couples secretly. Well good ol’ Claud found out about this and sentenced him to death.

6)   Father Valentine is believed to have fallen in love with his jailer's daughter, and on February 14th, the day he was executed; he wrote a note to his love signed “Your Valentine”. Voala! Now we have the “holiday of love” that started with animal sacrifice, beating of women, a sexist ruler and an execution. 

More sweets for my sweets…

1)   1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sold every year, that is more than every other holiday except Christmas.

2)   35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolates are sold ever year (and probably never eaten because those are gross)

3)    220 million roses are also sold each year…..220 million? Are you joking? Times that by the cost of flowers and we could probably solve America’s debt; and no red roses men...just don't be that guy.

4)   Thinking you’re sweet and clever proposing on Valentine’s Day? Think again, over 6 million couples get engaged on February 14…sorry boutcha.

5)   On average American’s spend about 20 billion dollars on Valentine’s Day each year….slow clap for you America; flushing money down the toilet on a commercial holiday every year instead of paying off your credit card bills. This is my shocked face.................

With this being said, for all you singles out there that loathe this day; just remember it’s not so bad. Actually, the ones who DO partake in this ridiculous, made-up day to “celebrate love” are the ones that are losing in this situation. Happy Valentine’s Day J

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