Oh, You Think You're Cool Bro? Think again....

After a night of numerous encounters with a toolbox of dudes, I officially realize chivalry is in fact dead in our generation. So, I am inspired to give men some tips on how NOT to be a complete A-hole and how you people should actually treat a woman.

1) If you see a girl standing and you are sitting. GET UP you inconsiderate bastard. She probably has shoes on that she wants to burn they hurt so bad. Let her sit! It blows my mind how many men will let a group of a girls stand when their entire table of GUYS are sitting. Are you joking with this?

2) If you're standing at the bar and you already have a beverage and you see a woman trying to get to the bar; move over! You don't have to buy her drink, you don't even have to talk to her; you won't lose your "spot" I promise you.

3) Do NOT EVER approach a woman and immediately assume she is an idiot. Being condescending will not get you a date; it will get you slapped.

4) Don't compliment her body "parts" unless you actually know her. We don't need strangers saying we have nice breasts; we now think you are a sex offender.

5) Don't be a one-upper. There is nothing worse than talking to a guy and telling him something and he has a "better" something to tell you. Oh cool, you climbed Mount Everest? I was just telling you I went jogging today? slow clap.....

6) Do NOT NOT NOT NOT talk in excess about how hot a woman's friend is TO her. We are already insecure and you talking at length about our obviously gorgeous friend isn't helping. There is a difference in putting in a good word and making a girl feel like she is going to die alone.

7) If a girl makes you mad for whatever reason, don't you dare cuss at her. This is unacceptable and it doesn't make you masculine; you cussed out a chick...cooooooool. You are not a guest on Jerry Springer so don't act like it; unless you really are that pathetic.

8) BE AWARE of chivalrous acts and DO THEM. Open their car door, pull their chair out, open the door for them, let her order first, let her eat the last bite of cake. I know it's 2014 and we let ya'll get away with not doing most of this but this is how it SHOULD be. Chicks want a Prince Charming, not Kanye West.

9) If you are conversing with a chick, do not turn to another girl and start talking to them mid conversation if you two are still speaking. Even if you are over it, be polite and excuse yourself. This is rude. You are rude. STOP IT.

10) Last but certainly not least; do not treat a woman like she is a dime a dozen. She may in fact suck at life but even if she does, you do not treat her that way. You never know the one chick you treat like crap could possibly be the one you were meant to be with; or worse yet, your BOSS one day.

Remember this gentlemen, without women YOU would be nothing. You NEED a woman; you can't birth your own offspring. Women don't NEED men. So get it together men and respect women; and if you are a man who does all of the above, bravo and relay the message to your jerk off friends.

20 Things That Will Ruin a Girl's Day...

This was inspired by a blog I read that was written by a DUDE that had no clue as to what exactly could ruin a girls day...

1) Driving to work with your coffee and spilling it all over yourself; usually followed by more horrific incidents during the day.

2) "That time of the month" coming at an inopportune time when you are around a bunch of males and/or cannot find a tampon to save your life.

3) Your phone being at 20% when there is no charger to be found. This could possibly be the worst feeling ever.

4) When you spend 45+ minutes on your hair and it looks exactly the same as how it did before...and/or just NOT right at all.

5) Trying on 16 outfits and nothing looks good...not even your "go to" hot shirt...Plans. Cancelled.

6) When your prospect/boyfriend etc doesn't contact you that day...at all...whatsoever.

7) Any kind of car problem.

8) Getting a call from collections....because of your VS card, Neiman's card etc...I don't shop but the Best Buy debt collector and I are on a first name basis.

9) Remembering you forgot to take your BC...at a time it is VERY important....

10) Buying the wrong foundation and now you're either Powder or Snookie. Also, running out of important make up NEVER all at once.

11) When you finally cyber stalk your ex and see he has a girlfriend. Um no..you are supposed to be miserable and alone?

12) When you are in your 30's and realize you are attracted to a guy and he's pretty much the ripe age of 19... jailbait... not cool

13) When you don't get carded over the age of 28.

14) You run out of shampoo/condition WHILE in the shower.

15) Being contacted by a recent ex at any given time.

16) Being up for a night on the town; and your girls that "were down", decided to stay in and watch the Notebook with their significant other.

17) Starving but having nothing in your fridge but pickles and cheese.

18) For the life of you, you can't remember something really important. You will not rest until you find out.

19) Having to buy razor blades.

20) You are out of wine.

10 Ways to Spot a "Don Jon"

So...I have watched the movie Don Jon probably a good 4 times by now and I can't get enough of it. Critics hated it, people said the acting was terrible; however I think it is probably one of the most brilliant movies of all time. The only people that hated it are people that cannot accept the fact they have been duped a time or two by a smooth operator. Before you quit reading let me explain...

Third of all, (I owe this to VMeeks who tells me ad nauseum to "get to the point"); women are MORONS. It is borderline masochism when women fall for men's same ol' tricks; and unfortunately, they work sometimes. It is almost like we want to be hurt so we have something to bitch about to our girlfriends. Truth be told, we either a) really do like you and you can do no wrong, or b) we like the IDEA of you. Either way, this movie has made MANY women, including yours truly, look back and want to slap my damn self for being so dumb. There are a lot of men out there that are just good....they just are. They know exactly what to say and do and no matter how tough you are, there's something about him that makes you want to believe his booshit, booshit, booshit, booshit. Don't worry girls, it happens to the best of us.

In turn, I have decided to write a checklist of 10 things a woman should look for in a guy she thinks may be a "Don Jon". 

1) Does he have an arsenal of cliches such as "good morning beautiful", "you're unlike anyone I have ever met", "Hey baby"...? Yeah let's be real here; if he is truly interested, he is just as afraid as you are so those things will not come out of his mouth until he knows you feel the same. Plus, I am not your baby, babe or baby mama so stop it right now....because it's cute and don't pull that voodoo crap on me.

2) Does he introduce you to his friends AS his "friend" when you have been seeing each other for a while? I would rather you just say my name, if you can remember it, rather than "this is my friend"...

3) Has he ever taken you on a REAL date? Yeahhhh didn't think so...

4) Does his phone blow up every 5 minutes while out (worse yet after the hour of 1 am) yet he never offers up why this is happening? ..self explanatory. He's got a side boo or YOU ARE the side boo.

5) Doesn't want to take a picture with you/untags himself/doesn't accept the post? hmmm think about it...

6)  Does he look at you like he's loved you for years and you've met two weeks ago? Ok, no. He may be into you; but women, you know THAT look and if you are getting that 2 weeks in...Don Jon.

7) This is tricky, but are his social media pictures are 90% with just guy friends? That dude got a BUNCH of chicks he doesn't want to piss off; best move= post pics looking hot but no chicks. Smart move.

8) Is he overly affectionate in private and acting like he has no idea who you are in public? Come on...seriously?

9) Does he go MIA for days at a time?

10) Last but not least does he reassure you constantly/ has an explanation or excuse for everything no matter what you throw at him? He comes packin' heat ladies; he's got something for EVERYTHING.

All in all, we all fall for what we seem to be the perfect guy. Sad thing is, some dudes are just THAT good you can't help it. However what's sadder, you can't play a playa gentlemen; two can play at this game ;)