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Thursday, August 22, 2013

The "Digi-Generation": 10 Rules of Online Dating

As we all know we are living in the digital age. Almost everything we do, besides sleep and well that’s all I got; uses some kind of technology. As much as no one likes to admit, even dating has taken the leap over to 2013. Although the, “I am probably going to get serial killed by the date I met online” stigma has dissipated, the actual act of online dating isn’t something we are screaming from the rooftops. With the newest dating site, Tinder, it has become easier to accept the fact we can’t interact with human beings anymore so we go on the net to hopefully land Mr. or Ms. Right now.

Is it the anonymity that attracts our generation to this certain site? Or is it the fact we all have become so dang lazy we can now just reject someone with a swipe of a finger? Whatever it is, I think we should all embrace this with open arms and thank the masterminds behind online dating. I mean, you can literally judge someone by their looks, see if you guys know the same people AND reject them based on the above, all from the comforts of your own home sans conversation. The less small talk the better.

That being said I have come up with 10 rules of online dating EVERY ONE should follow if you decide to partake in trying to find “the one” via the interwebs. These rules will help you find the right date and hopefully keep your profile from being screenshot and sent to girlfriends in a group text message so we can have a good laugh on you. These aren’t just for men but, for obvious reason, I don’t see many girls’ profiles.

1) Do not use a picture with a friend that is better looking than you as your default. It is ok to put it in the group of pictures you do use but not as your first one. I joke that I want another option besides yes or no to be “no to you but who’s the guy on the left?”. You want the girl to notice you first. Also, use a picture that is actually you…
2) Along the same lines, do not use pictures in which you are: drinking, smoking, with a bunch of girls, with an ex, wearing sunglasses in every one, doing activities where you aren’t in the picture, shirtless and flexing, looking like a pedophile, taking the picture of scenery. Girls that are online dating want to make sure they won’t wake up raped and murdered so try and use pictures that flatter you. You want a date right? Why do you think a girl would be privy to go out with you if she already thinks you’re a tool before even talking to you?
3) Keep your profile simple. There is no need to write your entire life story out. Plus, you are already online dating but you have time to write a novel? Not a good look. Profile should consist of: age, location, occupation and if you have ever been convicted of a violent crime. The last part is optional.
4) Always reach out to her. Don’t let her reach out to you. Now, if she does, ok but you, as the MAN, need to pursue her and initiate the communication.
5) Do not ask her for her number right away. I will reiterate, we don’t want to die so we are going to feel you out in a safe environment before agreeing to divulge any personal information. Talk for a bit and if she seems interested ask her to meet. This will allow you to see if she is ready to meet you, and/or if she feels comfortable enough to give her number. If she says she wants to talk more before meeting THEN ask for the digits.
6) DO NOT lead in with a perverted comment. It saddens me to even have to address this but it happens all too often. She won’t think you’re funny or immediately fall for your “different” approach. She thinks you’re a pervert just don’t. Stick to old faithful like “Hi, you are very stunning” or “Hi I am John nice to meet you”. Also, NO EMOTICONS. None.
7) If you get the number, don’t abuse it. Text her your number and step off. She will lead the conversation so just go from there.
8) Once you get her to agree to meet, pick a PUBLIC place. If I had a dime for every guy that asked me to come to his house…yes because that is exactly where I want to meet a complete stranger; in his own home? Try to keep it as normal as possible.
9) Do not have intentions other than to actually date. That’s what Craigslist is for. Keep it classy.
10) Last but certainly not least…if you are in a relationship STAY OFF DATING SITES!!! Again, it pains me to have to address this and the fact men can be complete morons stuns me. This is how you get caught, plain and simple. If you go on to a dating site such as Tinder and create a profile; it is location based. Even if you don’t pay attention to rule #9 and only use it when you go out of town; you do realize when you get home your profile will show up if other women are around your location and get on Tinder, right? If your boyfriend or husband just ran out of the room ladies…follow him. On the same note if you do meet someone and go out a few times with them give the dating site a rest. Concentrate on one and if it doesn’t work out then get back on that horse.

Although online dating is extremely superficial, it can actually be very effective. Dudes try this out and see what happens. I bet you get a lot more right swipes this way…

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