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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

"I Can't": 20 Phrases you Never Want to Hear Again...

UGHHHHHHHH 


1)      “Not to mention”: umm you are in FACT mentioning it sooo….

2)      “Let me be clear”: pretty sure if I needed clarification on context I would ask you; but go ahead and state your point you pompous asshole.

3)      “If I were you”: k well you’re not and you probably wouldn't even take your own advice so shut up.

4)      “With all due respect”: usually followed by one big fat backhanded compliment (thanks Ricky Bobby).

5)      “Just kidding, but not really”: …………what? Are you kidding or not? I’m confused.

6)      “I’m probably speaking out of turn but…”: you are. Sit.down.

7)      “A little extra”: Do you want extra or a little bit? EXACTLY HOW MUCH MORE OF THE NORMAL AMOUNT DO YOU WANT?!

8)      “It was bad, but not that bad”: Define “that” bad. Like O.J bad? Or like getting a parking ticket bad?

9)      “Do you care if I…” If you have to ask we probably do, so you’re putting us between a rock and a hard place; we can’t say no because we will look like jerks but we really don’t want to say yes.

10)  “Can you do me a favor?”: Ok, if it’s grabbing something closer to me then you; fine, Taking you to the airport…ehhhhh, pretending to be you because you gave my number to a stalker; NAH....and there will be payback.

11)  “Work smart not hard”: Working hard is working smart you idiot.

12)  “Don’t take this the wrong way but”: There obviously is a chance you will offend me; just don’t even go there....unless you are ready for a verbal spar or a pimp slap...

13)  “You would be so cute if…”:……ok what? No. just no. 

14)  “Do you understand?”: Yes. Yes I do. Thank you for asking……………

15)   “Can I ask you a question?”: NO; and why are you asking? Just ask it?

16) "Hypothetically if...": This is about you. Don't front

17) "Do you hear what I am saying": Yup. Sure do; but am I listening? Probably not.

18) "Just saying": I know this is popular now but we get it you literally just said it.

19) "I like to be different": Says hipster sporting every clothing item that the stereotypical hispster wears. hashtag totes diff!!!!!

20)  “No offense”: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T!

1 comment:

  1. 21) "Irregardless, ...": All that follows will be "Irregarded"

    ReplyDelete

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