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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

One Broke Girl....Ten Life "Hacks"...or Whatever...

Life has a funny way of working out. If you are one of those “lucky” people that have everything work out for you every time, all the time, then slow clap for you assholes. I am talking to the rest of us ratchets that actually have periods of time when we genuinely think the universe’s ultimate goal is to bend us over and take control of our backside.

There is no better way to learn the value of a dollar than LITERALLY not having a single dollar…not even in change. However, I have become a pro at figuring out ways to save your pretty pennies; and FYI, pennies add up so don’t discard them immediately. I really don’t want to do another list, but I am busy yet still want to share this mind-blowing information with you fine people.

The top ten lessons I have learned while being broke

1)      Taco Bell. Um 12 burritos for $5? That will feed me for a week.

2)      Keeping the change. Those annoying nickels and dimes are still in fact currency; SHOCKER. Keep a change bucket.

3)      Know your priorities. Wine or gas?? Make a decision. **wine is the better option.

4)      Google is a broke person’s best friend. If you need extra cash there are a million websites you can do odd jobs that will pay you; AND WIFI is free at Starbucks.

5)      If you don’t watch much TV, why are you paying for cable? Let’s be real, you can stream any show, movie etc from your computer.  You actually can just pay for internet; don’t let those devil people at Time Warner tell you differently.

6)      Only go to bars/restaurants you know you have the hookup. You may be tagged as a “bar fly” but you are actually extremely smart. However, you absolutely have to return the favor by bringing in more people, tipping fantastic (when you do have money) etc.

7)      Shower hacks. Make your soap, shampoo, conditioner etc last by pouring a bit of water in it and shaking it up…it’ll last you a good 4 more showers.

8)      Hungry? Samples. Go to Sam’s…FREE SAMPLES. You can legit get an entire meal there.

9)      Go shopping in your own closet. You may not have worn that shirt that was “out” since 2005, but guess what? Who cares, make your own style; and you’ll become an expert at faking “fashion forward”.

10)  I really don’t want to share this hack but I feel like I owe it to people who are spending their hard earn money for parking. Make up a story about how you are “working” an event or place. Make up a business you work for; make those parking spot Rapey Johnson’s that charge $15 for YOU to park your OWN car feel like they are soooooo out of the loop. **note: this works MUCH better for women than men. Sorry…but I will say I haven’t actually paid for parking ANYWHERE in years…

K BJ was this too long or nah? 

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